The 3 am Smile

In my short month as being Sophie's mom, I've found that it's not always easy.  Changing diapers can be challenging when she's wiggling or when the diaper isn't quite fitting just right.  Nursing was difficult for me to start with because it was so painful and neither of us knew what we were doing.  It's been hard to get into a routine that works for us both so that I can still do a few things at home, but we're adjusting to that.

Even with all those things, I must say that one thing has been the most difficult: waking up every few hours at night.  It is SOOO hard to get out of my comfortable bed when I've only been there a couple of hours.  It's warm and peaceful there and I don't want to get up.  Of course, I make myself get up because Sophie girl needs to eat, no matter how comfortable, tired, or warm I am!  After feeding her and I'm working on putting her back to sleep, then I realize what it's all about and am reminded of this every time I'm up with her.  It's not about waking up throughout the night.  It's not about me missing out on sleep.  It's not about leaving my warm bed.  It's actually not about me at all.  It's all about holding her, being there for her, and seeing her smile while she's staring up at me.  It really is all about that 3 am smile.