Sophie will be 3 years old in a couple of months. Everett is already 3 months old. They both seem to be growing so quickly. That means I've been a momma for coming up on 3 years, with 2 kids for over 3 months now. You would think I might be catching on to the parenting thing by now but I have new thoughts and revelations all the time. Every day, I'm still learning something new. Every day, I'm shown by God that I have so much I don't know. Every day, my children help to remind me of that very thing.
By nature, I am somewhat of a Type A person. I love a clean house. I love things all having a place and being in that place. I like things quiet. I like order. I like to be in control (though I work hard to be Biblically submissive to my husband). And I love routines.
See the problem here? Two young children and words like 'order' and 'clean' don't really go well together, do they? Because of this, I pray every day that God works on me to be a better mother, and that involves letting go of most of the things I like in order to see the bigger picture. Today, it hit me: I have to change what I'm seeing.
Here's a good example. Sophie, for some reason, loves to take the paper off of her crayons. I like it on there because that's where the paper belongs, and otherwise how would you know the right color names?? Why would you want a naked crayon?? I usually get onto Sophie for taking them off but today I looked at her with a different perspective as she was working so diligently on getting it off. She was having to use her fingers and hands in such a way that it really was working her fine motor skills. Having to get the paper unstuck and pulled off, as it comes away a piece at a time, really is a skill she's working on. So, despite my inner voice crying out to make it stop, I let it go. As much as I want to leave the papers on in the random off-chance that I must know the name of that particular color, I let it go for the bigger picture.
Another time today, I had the same type of realization. Sophie likes to throw the pillows from the couch on the floor and stand on them. I, of course, wish for the pillows to remain on the couch or put away neatly, not rough-housed with in the floor. Today I watched Sophie standing on one and realized how much balance and coordination she's using to stand on that pillow and keep stepping from one to another. That's a gross motor activity, which is an area that I believe she could definitely use more work in. Naturally I see this as inappropriate to do, but seeing what it was teaching was such a different way for me to look at it. Again, I let it go for the bigger picture.
The lesson I learned today was that even though I'm seeing a chaotic, disorderly, unorganized home, there is so much more to it that I'm not usually seeing right off. There is learning. There are skills being practiced. There is a child having fun in a safe environment. And best of all, there was laughter and peace between us. Sophie wasn't hurting anything by pulling off the paper on the crayons. The only negative impact it had was on my liking for it and the paper I had to later clean up, but this activity I despised had so many more positive impacts for her.
It sounds so silly to think of how a simple crayon wrapped in paper could really make you realize something so much bigger than just what color the crayon is, but that is what happened to me today. I know now to try to look at the bigger picture: what is my child learning by making that mess? What skill is she practicing doing that thing I told her not to for the simple reason that I don't like it? What could I point out to her to make this chaotic activity into something worth remembering?
I'm definitely not perfect at seeing life from this perspective, but I know I'll continue to work on it. By the end of the time I spent coloring with Sophie, you know what happened? I was joining Sophie in taking off the papers of a few of her crayons. And you know what? The world didn't end and it really was kind of fun. So maybe naked crayons really aren't that bad...
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